For some context, I and my boyfriend had brought in my cat (3/4M) to his cats (1M) and all 3 are neutered. My cat has been neutered since I got him at the shelter while my boyfriend's cat was neutered almost a month ago. His cats are brothers and bonded together. My cat has always been the only one but when I got him his paperwork did state he's ok with other cats.
My cat has been in the bedroom since Christmas. We didn't allow them to see each other for 2 weeks, we scent-swapped beds, blankets, toys, etc. during those 2 weeks. After that, we allowed 1 of his cats who is more friendly. Hissing and growling were to be expected and we removed his cat from the bedroom once we felt it was getting too aggressive. We're not perfect there have been times we didn't close the door fast enough and both or one of them rushed into the bedroom and there was a minor fight or hissing. But his other cat is more aggressive so we don't let him near my cat unless we are both in the room. Since neutering his cats on 01/06, we started the process over with the scent swapping, we got calming diffusers(3 are in use, 1 in the bedroom, 1 in the living room, and 1 in the kitchen) our vet recommended Purina Pro calming care supplements, bought now 3 boxes, calming treats, collars and sprays. Today we opened the door again for them to interact with our supervision openly. This is the 4th time we did that this week and the other 3 times went great. With that assumption, we thought to do it again, but we didn't interfere too much like the first 3 times, just only when it looked bad. They had eaten their dinner and some treats together, everything seemed good outside of some hissing which again we expect to happen. Well, 2 fights broke out, 1 was from the more friendly cat( which shocked us) he was removed and lectured. The more aggressive cat was chill so he stayed in the room, my cat this time started the last fight which resulted in him pooping on himself, the bed, and the walls. I don't know what else can I do, my boyfriend got his cats neutered for my cat so it could be a better interaction after their very first fight since his cat rushed in 3 days into it. I feel terrible about this whole situation as my boyfriend spent 600$ on the surgery, and my cat is away from this only known home(an hour away). I want this to work as I missed my sweet boy since moving in with my boyfriend last May. Did we rush this? Is there any way they can at the very this tolerate each other after that? My cat isn't a fighter, he is very scary. As I read online this shows that my cat is now scared of his cats and I don't want my boy to feel like he's on eggshells. Any advice is welcomed thank you!
@keiaraboyd
Hello KeiAra
Thank you for reaching out and for neutering all the cats.
Integrating cats from different litters and households can be challenging and time-consuming.
The rule is that reintroducing should start from scratch if fights break out. Typically, non-affiliated cats can take weeks and months, even years, to begin living harmoniously.
Here are some recommendations to facilitate the re-introduction and to create a more suitable environment for all the cats:
1. During the re-introduction, use a glass door or a SHRRL Reinforced Cat Screen mesh to separate the new cats. This divides the two sides so the cats can see each other without physical contact. Toys, brushes, and safe places should be available on both sides.
2. Monitor each cat's body language - to know when to proceed to the next step and when to take a step back if needed. Don’t rush the steps!
3. Don’t encourage or inadvertently reinforce assertive behavior—only focus on your resident cat when relaxed, not hissing, swatting at another cat or human, or displaying aggressive behaviors. Move away, and don’t give your resident cat attention if it is hissing, growling, or looking at you.
4. Do not allow overt, persistent threatening behaviors (e.g. hissing/growling at the glass or mesh door). If this happens, please do not discipline the cat for showing agonistic behaviors. Instead, create a neutral zone; this might involve closing another door or placing a visual barrier between the cats to block the barrier door (e.g., a shoji screen, boxes, or chairs).
5. Be ready to interrupt any escalation in reactivity. If tension arises, you can easily use passive intervention (e.g., towels, a blanket to cover the cats, or cardboard or laminate sheets to block visual contact).
6. Provide sufficient escape routes during the introduction. All cats must have individual hiding spots, even in small homes (e.g., cat tunnels, cat condos, etc.).
7. Since cats are solitary species, meals and treats should be fed in different locations. If you’re training all three cats, you can then toss the treats in a different direction for each one.
8. Play calming classical music during the re-introduction and post-introductions.
9. Ensure sufficient resources for all three cats and provide equal attention to them.
10. When conflict arises, remain calm and reduce the need for yelling or reprimanding, as these can exacerbate anxiety for a quiet cat and cause them to poop or vomit.
11. Clicker training some of the cats to keep them mentally and physically simulated may also be helpful.
Lastly, you can ask your vet for calming supplements like Zylkene or Virbac Anxitane Tablets ( https://www.amazon.com/Virbac-Anxitane-Tablets-Small-Count/dp/B00AS0B0QU/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1YYOGVDSR0F02&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.2yCv5YnOFHRoMmO4v2dXQLIpKcbyTCF0zj0ruw7lmK4LztC8MSbEDQKg4vE3ofZa28tuHrld2ZgY7D1iGzQxJ1uGBXwndEx1FF8fX4TlhPuqU3B-rQaj6cUFNdo8W4DmsuQuTCd3G8pAbbee7n2vRDvWq5THFFtq5dYzvbFVpET9C8OpkWq93JI9-rCr6U6j.lgkmApehyYBwsM68OEJpidpZwn-WTUnOAT7M1YwUhBk&dib_tag=se&keywords=Virbac%2BAnxitane%2BTablets&qid=1738539268&sprefix=virbac%2Banxitane%2Btablets%2Caps%2C373&sr=8-1&th=1).
If all else fails, please arrange for a cat behaviorist to provide in-home support.
I hope this helps. Please be patient and don’t give up! Melina